How to tell if you're going bald....

Going bald is bad enough, but even worse are those pitiable gentlemen among us who are going bald but like to pretend that they are not.  These are the fellows with the comb-over hairstyle; a monstrosity of grooming where hair from one side of the head is dragged across the skull, in a pathetic attempt to camouflage an ever-growing expanse of scalp.  These poor men live every day of their lives in a state of denial, earning the jeers and laughter that comes their way.  In order to prevent one's self from becoming a laughingstock, a man must learn to identify the early warning signs of impending baldness.  Here is how to tell if you are going bald.

1. When you walk outside on a sunny day, you find that people have to shield their eyes around you in order to avoid the glare from your scalp.

2. You suddenly realize that a bottle of shampoo lasts much, much longer than it used to.

3. Your favorite hat doesn't quite fit the way that it used to.

4. When you look into the drain after the shower, you think that you are looking at a drowned rat.

5. Your forehead seems to be growing in height every year.

6. When you drive in a convertible with the wind blowing through your hair, you feel a little chillier than you used to.

7. When you are around friends, they have a sudden urge to bowl.

8. When you are around friends, they have a sudden urge for watermelon.

9. When you are around friends, they have a sudden urge for hard-boiled eggs.

10. When you raise your head after falling asleep on a leather couch, you hear a sound like someone peeling the backing off of a Fruit Roll-Up.

If you happen to recognize any of the above signs, then it just may be time to admit that you are losing your hair.  But fear not, my balding friend.  The best thing a man in your situation can do is to accept Mother Nature's kick-in-the-pants with grace and dignity, instead of trying to convince the world that you are as hairy as you were back in high school.  After all, lots of women find bald to be sexy.  Of course, I can't seem to think of any off the top of my head, but I'm sure they must exist.  But then again, they are doing some amazing things with toupees and hair transplant surgery these days.

(Editor's Note: "How To Tell If You're Going Bald" appears courtesy of Gus Muldoon)

How to Prevent Post-Shave Itching

Itching is a common occurrence for many people after shaving.  This itching is often the result of millions of microscopic abrasions on the surface of the epidermis, or outermost layer of the skin.  Left unattended, these micro-abrasions will often heal within a day or two, although the itching may last longer if the skin is irritated by certain ingredients found in low-quality shaving creams, soaps, gels, and lotions.

Fortunately, it is easy to prevent post-shave itching.  The first step is invest in higher-quality shaving supplies.  Cheap disposable razors will result in a greater amount of skin abrasions, which will result in more itching.  Low-quality shaving creams can also intensify the itching sensation.  Shaving creams and gels containing aloe, dimethicone, silicone, and other natural and synthetic emolients (ingredients which soften skin) will help reduce itching and soothe the skin while shaving.  Dimethicone and silicone also help the razor glide over the skin more easily, reducing abrasions and irritation.

The next step is to practice proper shaving technique.  Using warm water will soften the hair, making shaving easier.  Allow the shaving cream to sit on the skin for a minute or two prior to shaving; this will also help soften the hair.  Rinse the blade after each pass with the razor, since a clogged razor can lead to cuts and nicks.  It is important to shave "with" rather than "against" the grain of the hair (the direction in which the hair grows).  While shaving "against the grain" will result in a closer shave, it will also increase the possibility of cuts, nicks, abrasions, itching, and ingrown hairs.  Stretching the skin taut with your free hand while shaving will also help minimize itching and irritation.  If the itching still persists, one easy trick is use an unscented stick deodorant on the afflicted area.  The aluminum oxide found in most deodorants will soothe the skin and absorb excess moisture on the surface of the skin, which will reduce irritation, redness, and itching.

Finally, it is essential to practice good basic skincare.  Healthy skin is much more resistant to micro-abrasions than dry or dehydrated skin.  Proper skincare is easily achieved by drinking plenty of water, using a moisturizing lotion daily, and exfoliating the skin a few times per month to remove dead skin cells.

By investing in better quality shaving products, practicing proper shaving technique, and practicing proper skin maintenance, post-shave itching and burning will become a thing of the past.

Early 1900s Barbershop, Indiana